Humor

Admission In A Mental Hospital....... 

Category: Humor Tagged as: REPORTER, Mental, Hospital, Doctor

In a Mental Hospital a reporter asked the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a patient or not? Doctor: Well....We first fill a BathTub with water And than give a spoon, a cup & a bucket...

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More submissions

33rd Anniversary...
Author : mobilecitybuzz
The 33rd Anniversary of Bill’s 29th Birthday will be held at 3750 LeBlanc Drive Theodore Alabama on May 18, 2013. The 33rd Anniversary of Bill’s 29th Birthday will kickoff at 12:00PM and last until the cows go home or the sun comes up. The menu for this event will be crawfish, red beans and rice. B.Y.O.B. and a chair Directions: South on Rangeline Road (Hwy 193) turn left on Rabbit Creek Drive, go 7/10 mile, turn left on LeBlanc Drive (1st house facing Leblanc Drive). If you need more information about the 33rd Anniversary of Bill’s 29th Birthday call 251-443-5007 or 251-422-6163. Bill...
Write...
Author : glentheincredibleholt
I absolutely love it when I leave a consonant off of the end of a word. It's even funnier when I don't catch it while proof reading." That "not good. I am from a literate family for the most part, and we have decent verbal skills (to a point). So I feel great shame when I see that I've made a simple mistake. I do love the fact that if I do make a mistake here I have the option of editing it, if I happen to catch it. I'm not ebonically challenged despite the fact that some of my posts make it seem like I am. Have a great week everyone. +Ebonically +Verbal +Literate
catskill...
Author : rosie21
I was thinking last night while lying in bed,and i had to jump up and jot it down. was thinking about a family vacation we took to the catskill mountains when my kids were little.We would go up to the game farm which is like grants farm, and then go to carson city,which was a western town.We stayed at Rielly's motel a cute place nested in the woods,, The night we stayed there my husband woke up because he heard a noise at the door I. woke up and said what.s wrong and he told me,I was scared so he put a chair underneath the door. and then the scratching noise stopped.When i was thinking of...
Right...
Author : Pat_Anthony
We’re right on schedule, but just a couple hours late! We’re right on schedule and just heading out the gate. People to the left of us and people to right. We can’t move any faster, try as we might. Meetings can start without us, classes can too. When you are late like this, what do you do? Here comes the thundering rain-this will help a lot! Maybe today things could run smoother, but we think not. Tonight we’ll look back and think it’s all a joke, not caring anymore about that big slow poke. Photo: Pat Anthony +poetry
The Day My Dad Came...
Author : madamekelly
If you look at this picture, you will see that my father was a very handsome man. His hair did not turn gray until he was in his late 60's. He worked hard, and never came to school, because we were in school when he was at work most of the time, so my friends at school had never seen him. My father's preferred mode of transportation at that time, was his Honda 750 motorcycle. One day, when I was sixteen and he was 38, he showed up at school to take me to get my learners permit to drive a car. I met him in the school office when I was summoned. When I reached the office, he handed...
fishes
Author : keshi
A fish is any member of a paraphyletic group of organisms that consist of all gill-bearing aquatic craniate animals that lack limbs with digits. Included in this definition are the living hagfish, lampreys, and cartilaginous and bony fish, as well as various extinct related groups. Most fish are ectothermic ("cold-blooded"), allowing their body temperatures to vary as ambient temperatures change, though some of the large active swimmers like white shark and tuna can hold a higher core temperature. Fish are abundant in most bodies of water. They can be found in nearly all aquatic environments,...
cats
Author : keshi
The domestic cat (Felis catus or Felis silvestris catus) is a small, usually furry, domesticated, and carnivorous mammal. It is often called the housecat when kept as an indoor pet,or simply the cat when there is no need to distinguish it from other felids and felines. Cats are often valued by humans for companionship and their ability to hunt vermin and household pests. Cats are similar in anatomy to the other felids, with strong, flexible bodies, quick reflexes, sharp retractable claws, and teeth adapted to killing small prey. Cat senses fit a crepuscular and predatory ecological niche. Cats...
Cat People
Author : Necessity
Cat people are a different species and indeed some dog people are as well. What I have noticed about cat people, and I have to admit right now I have three felines that are suppose to belong to my children but because I feed them they tend to follow me around, is that they talk to themselves. A LOT. Sometimes Captain Fuzzy Pants might be in the room and so the cat person can make you believe that they are speaking to their uninterested cat but usually they are alone in the room and clearly speaking to themselves. I have caught myself talking to an empty room as if it were filled with an audience....
Angry...
Author : soccerwidow
When I left for work yesterday, I thought I was right on schedule. But, when I reached the intersection on my street where I'd normally cross and wait for the bus that takes me to the train station, the bus whizzed right by me. Instead of being too upset (they only run ten minutes apart), I thought I'd stroll down the main street and wait for the next bus there. I hate standing still for too long. When I got to the bus shelter I saw the strangest thing. A man was sitting on the bench and eating the most delicious-looking ice cream. And looking angry. I thought to myself when, in the...
lace-on...
Author : waywardfoe
So I hate tying my laces. For some reason this stage in my early childhood development was skipped. I had no idea how to tie my laces for the longest time and to tell the truth I just didn’t care. What I would do all through school was to make a little knot at the end of both laces so that they wouldn’t come out through the holes. This would be done once and only once at the beginning of the term, I would make sure that the shoes fit nice and snug and then I would forget about laces forever. I finally learned in 4th form or some other ridiculous age. I learned about the two bows and making...
My first...
Author : sangeetapandey
“Those were the days, you know?”, recollected Venky. “How full of youth and energy we used to be!” He takes me down the memory lane. After all we were sitting together after seven long years. I remembered how, after graduating, we were so restless for a job. “After you went to States I felt really very lonely here, you know?” says Venkat M. Prakash, my best friend till date. “All our friends had got a job except me. I felt so troubled with all of you succeeding but me, you know?”. I had to wait till September that year till I was selected as a marketing officer.” Venkat’s honest...
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Author : ConstantComment
Mr. CC is liberal about many things, but his clothing isn't one of them. He has gone beyond conservative to downright stodgy. No trendy cuts or colors in his closet. If it was good enough for Thomas E. Dewey, it's good enough for him. That said, while his taste isn't exactly fashion-forward, it's not bad. He prefers to shop without my help and has only brought home a few things that made me want to sob. He's not very neat and I don't pick up after him a lot, so all I have to do about these is wait until he "puts away" each one by dropping it on the floor...
Housework...
Author : travellinda
My husband does the vacuuming every Sunday. One Friday, not too long ago, I decided that I would take care of the floors so my hubby wouldn't have to. Normally I can't do it because it makes my fibromyalgia go to full pain power, but this particular Friday I was feeling great and thought it would be a good thing if I could do it, since I don't work outside the home and my husband does. Sweeping the kitchen floor was not a problem. I've used the broom a time or too and felt I could take care of it. I even damp-mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors. We have separate bedrooms...
Leaping...
Author : grahamh
Today I had double flying wine. The grape had wings and wanted it's freedom to soar free as bird - and then crap on my light coloured carpet! How, you may ask, can a bottle of red wine with the top screwed on, manage to splash itself to freedom instead of down my throat. It tricked me by dribbling when I poured into the glasses. I screwed the top on - yes I know, it should have been a cork - and went to wipe the bottle neck. That is when I swear the top unscrewed itself and threw wine onto my carpet. Grrrr - *&%%*" I said, and spent good drinking time cleaning the carpet. THEN,...
Three...
Author : sammy13
Three young man who heavily drunk, hail a cab and went straight up. taxi driver said to himself, "sick drunkard, I give them a lesson" Then he stater in his car then immediately stop and say "We was arrive guys". the First young man directly pay. The second young man greeted the driver, he said thanks. The third young man suddenly hit the driver's head. Surprised , the driver asked why he was beaten, and then answered by the young man "next time do not be speeding like that man !, just running slowly"
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Author : webmasterx
Why blondes are they afraid jars? Because we are locked pickles!
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Author : SandraLynn
O’Chang Comics - Must See Funny Oh Em Gee, this is another of THOSE posts. I’m going to tell you this ridiculous thing that you just HAVE to see - can’t miss - you’ll kick yourself HARD if you don’t see... Yep, it is. Another one of those posts. So pay attention. A few weeks ago G’s students held a lovely little film festival of their work; an end of the year extravaganza, to be sure. And while I was fortunate to see many good shorts (short films), I was most especially drawn to this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q07S5XwCaWU Ridiculous, going to make you pee your...
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Author : aerolite
Don’t let anyone’s opinion change you. Don’t let them push you around and mold you into something that you aren’t happy with. Don’t let their words get the best of you, because it’s not worth it. The only thing that matters is your happiness. Be someone that you’re happy with and you’ll see the better side of you. Do what makes you happy and you’ll live your life to the fullest. We may never be strong enough to be entirely nonviolent in thought, word and deed. But we must keep nonviolence as our goal and make strong progress towards it.
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Author : jam7293
I am not a morning person. I tend to take quite a while to wake up and this is usually only after at least two cups of java. My husband of three years knows this and still insists on asking me questions right when I open my eyes. On top of that, this morning was not my finest hour since I woke up and didn't feel well right off the bat. Despite all of these facts, I wonder sometimes what he is thinking. Our conversation this morning went like this: Me: "Oh wow, I feel awful. It feels like someone is stabbing me in both my sides. Ugh." Husband: "Are you hungry? Do you...
lobotomie
Author : webmasterx
qu'est-ce qu'une lobotomie?une brune qui se fait teindre en blonde
Sir Isaac...
Author : Avijit
Yes friends, this is absolutely true for those of you who didn't know of this reality as of yet. Sir Isaac Newton, the key figure in scientific revolution and one of the greatest scientists of all time actually never married in his lifetime. +Sir-Isaac-Newton was deeply involved with his nieces and the fellow +scientists who used to work with him and never thought of marriage. Whatever he had acquired, he used to spend it with them as he considered it his family as he didn't had any siblings either. He was so +satisfied with his work that he never took notice of anything else apart...
Lip Smakin...
Author : rebelann1949
I have a bearing Mulberry tree and a few years ago I noticed one of my dogs really liked them, her name was Sophie and she taught Mykey to love them, he thinks they are +lipsmakingood but unfortunately Ally isn't falling for it, she's tried them a few times but just makes a face and walks off. Funny though how she'll follow Mykey around as he finds these berries to eat them. Hopefully I'll have 2 more bearing Mulberry trees within the next 2 years, the birds also love them.
The IgnORaNcE...
Author : ingrid
Now, before I retire to bed, just another amusing incident while I was on board the plane (Kuwait Airways) for Q8. After I read the letter of my brother, and when the plane was up, I thought of watching the movie being shown on wide-screen. (Now, I think every seat has its own television in front). This is already an outdated 747 plane of Q8, and I vividly recall that there were designated headphones, with sockets in every seat, for each passenger. One can listen to the dialogues of the actors of the movie being shown, provided he knows what channel it is. Or, he may listen to some calming music,...
I Am Proofreading...
Author : mommykerrie
I am Proofreading Porn Okay, it’s not porn, exactly. It’s something … educational, about women and their bodies. I asked for it in an earlier post here on +Bubblews and either somebody saw it or the Universe heard me. I got to proofread it at my mother’s house while sitting right next to her. She is so cool. We just sat and laughed about the subject matter and put in our two cents, like, “20 minutes? That’s too dang long.” When I was a teenager I NEVER would have thought I would be talking about these things with my mom at this age. Heck, I can even talk about certain things...
How Often...
Author : mommykerrie
How often do you have to clean out your car? My husband gets frustrated with how often my mommyvan needs to be cleaned out. We do have a plastic trash bag hanging on the back of one of the seats, so that takes care of SOME of the trash while we are on the go. We always seem to be on the go. Every now and then we do a sweep of the van and all 5 kids have to bring in some junk. We always seem to have random clothing, jackets, shoes, food, nature findings (pinecones, rocks, sticks) and more rolling around. Then it’s vacuuming time. I swear we almost fill up a vacuum bag with the random yuckness...