Do you have a spouse that’s moody? Do you feel like you’re constantly walking on egg shells for fear of “setting them off.” Is every day/hour a mystery as to which spouse you’ll see, the Jekyll or the Hyde? Are you always playing the “guessing game” about what’s wrong? I’ve been married to a highly non-communicative and moody spouse for 10 years now. Although in any marriage there are good days and bad days, follow my tips below to have a loving and lasting marriage with your moody spouse.
1. Don’t enter into a marriage with a potentially moody spouse unless you’re strong in character, very devoted, and severely in love. A relationship of this sort needs lots of love and patience on both ends. Also, physical violence on any level is unacceptable.
2. Learn to walk away and let things slide. It is very rare that my moody spouse is actually angry at me, although he may redirect his frustration toward me. Pick and choose your battles! Not everything is worth a fight.
3. Have your own happy space. I believe one of the major elements of success in my marriage is that we each have our own office. My moody spouse can mope in his office and I can mope in mine. Sometimes I will go for a walk or run, or I’ll simply go read in the backyard. Whatever it is you have to be able to find your moment of Zen. Let the frustration go – it’s not worth the extra stress!
4. Have a makeup time. Some people try to makeup before bed refusing to go to sleep with any anger. For us it is dinner time. I know I can coerce my moody spouse out of his office with a nice meal and we’ve almost always forgotten our issues by the end of it.
5. Don’t sweat the small things. Remember that in the grand scheme of life, fighting over whose turn it is to do the dishes is really small potatoes.
6. Timing is everything. I know that I can’t talk to my moody spouse when he is in a funk. So I write down my issues or hurts and bring them up when the timing is right. Most people cannot take criticism when they are already feeling defensive.
I do love my moody spouse very much, which is why I continue to cut my feet on the eggshells that I always seem to be walking upon. I know that I’m far from perfect too. And I think that’s truly the secret to a successful marriage – accepting one another’s faults and learning to work around them.