Ellen DeGeneres is giving away a trip to Australia. I want to win. I entered the contest and there is a place to write an essay...Why I Deserve To Win. So this is what I wrote.

Winning this trip would be the biggest thing, and one of four things I've ever won. The first thing I won was the M Street hopscotch championship of second grade, on my block, in 1967.

The second thing I won was a writing award from my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Borgman, for a short story called Azalea, the 3 inch girl, which was my interpretation of Thumbelina, and quite brilliant, to Mrs. Borgman.

In 6th grade, I came in 9th in the State Spelling Bee, stupidly messing up the word "occasional". It was nerves. Following these personal triumphs, I have since failed to win any contests, and notably, I did not win the Bee, so technically, I have only won two things, ever.

As a writer and lover of humor, I idolize Ellen DeGeneres, and winning a contest featured on her show would mean I am back in favor with the cosmos. I wish I could meet the magnificent Ellen. She inspires my comedy, my writing and she makes me want to be a kinder person when I feel sarcastic.

I have always longed to see Australia, and meet the people there. It would be a dream come true, which I need, now that I've finally gotten over the State Spelling Bee 9th place disappointment. It would be such an honor to be chosen for this trip! Please please please pick me!