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&gmac49 I agree with you totally and I'm sorry that you went through the same thing - I tried explaining to them that this man was abusive to me and he hurt me very badly when he tried to take my son away. I went through the worst period of my life because of him. You would think my brother would have an instinctual desire to protect his little sister but in the end they showed that they cared more for him than me. However, coincidentally my brother called me last night. He said he and his wife have been split up for over a month and that it was her that wanted a relationship with my ex's wife and I don't know why.

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The thing with the exes is not acceptable. If your family continues to be friends with your "ex" it is them saying loud and clear that they have no problem with whatever took place4 between you and him. I had the same problem when my ex wife and I divorced. She continued to be invited to family Christmas parties, nephews and nieces birthday parties and so on, at least by one sister. I eventually told her how I felt and she simply told me "Well, that's your problem." So, unfortunately I have not spent quality time with that sister in about 20 years. If I divorce someone, I do it for a reason. I was cheated on, I was hurt, deeply. For any member of my family to continue to be friends with that person is a slap in my face.

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That's a great resolution but if I may, and you can tell me to shut up, I don't mind but I've a love/hate relationship with many in my family and I want to share with you how I managed as some of your situations are close to mines.

First, I had to realize it's their loss NOT mines. I did what I had to do for me, yes I did get to feeling blue mainly around holidays we would usually spend together. Next I reached out and let them know why and how which you did, and let them know I'm here but I can't do it alone. Lastly, they responded and we have all since been better to each other and more thoughtful. Everyone does have their lapses but I had to remember they are my family but they are also human and it's a lot of stuff going on in life out here that they are going through as well as me.

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That's good resolution. I'm already starting on mine as well. I'm trying to exercise more and get back into hiking shape. I used to be a crazy hiker, and now a four hour hike leaves me tired.

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