I don't have any cousins from my Mom's side to speak of, but on my Dad's side I have many, but yet, I don't. They are strangers to me, I don't know them, only by name I know them. Been almost 30 years since I seen most of them. I probably wouldn't even know them in passing on the street. What are they like? What kind of people are they?
Do they know I have a family? Do they know I'm a Gr-ma? They don't know that all I drink mostly is ice tea. They don't know I write some.
Resentment? .....well, maybe just a little bit. Am I resentful because they don't know me? ....Nah. I just wished I did know them as family...as friends. No... my only family now, is my Mom, sister/bro-in-law, hubby, my kid's and Jaden. That's who is in my family now. I've come to relize years ago, I have no other family. And that's ok.
I hope in writing this, getting this off my chest and out of my mind...I can move on, and forget. The only family I have, is right here, in town with me everyday. I relize now that I'll probably never see the cousins again. Even tho they are scattered over 2 counties close-by. And that's ok....they never really knew me to begin with either. There are only 8 in my family now.
Am I writing them off, as they say... yeah, maybe so. But as time goes on, the less I think of them, the less I know them. And that's ok too.